Setting boundaries – because everyone cannot sit with us.
I’ve had a lot of conversations as of late discussing the absolute requirement of setting standards in our lives. What should go hand-in-hand with that is also setting boundaries. Not everyone can sit with us at the table and that is not based on race, gender, or any of those other things we use to separate ourselves. No. Not everyone can sit with us because their treatment of us, as individuals, is just not acceptable.
“If you do not stand for something you will fall for anything…”
Toxicity In The Form of An Angel
Stop allowing people that diminish your soul to flourish in your world! If someone is constantly cutting you down, demeaning you, and making you feel like less than the amazing human being that you are then why in the world are you keeping them around? Why hold on so tightly to people that are hurting you?
Answer: It is a learned behavior.
Resolution: UNLEARN THE BEHAVIOR
Just Say No To Drugs
It happens to the best of us. We fall in love with these beautiful creatures (this is not just in romantic relationships but also our platonic situations as well) and they just send us over the moon with emotion! They brighten our moods and give us the warm and fuzzies. That’s right, all the feels!
We become addicted to the high that these people give us but what ends up happening? The high is short-lived so we end up spending more time chasing it than actually feeling it. We get hung up on what used to be rather than what is.
It’s time to start saying “no“.
Boundaries. GET SOME!
To exist in my life there are clearly defined boundaries established. If you cross those lines then you, my friend, no longer get to go here. Plain and simple.
No matter how trivial you may think your “requests” are they are YOURS and they must be respected. If you set that boundary that you will not be called after a certain hour because that is your time with your family then those that want to be a part of your life will respect it. It’s radio silence after 8PM so call 9-1-1 for emergencies, not me!
If my relationship status has changed from single and ready to mingle to in a relationship, engaged, married, etc then you better respect the title change and stay in your lane. Those “hey, big head” texts better miss my line altogether because there’s a boundary set with every transition that we make in our lives.
Why Is This Important?
Because you are. You are to be both loved and respected. You do not deserve to be harmed in any way and if you feel violated then it should be corrected. Period.
Are there unacceptable behaviors that you have been allowing from other people in your world? Are there certain buttons you do not want pushed that people tend to just lean down hard on during regular conversation? Time to start saying NO!
- Write out a list of things that you have been tolerating but that you feel are unacceptable.
- From this list determine how you would define a boundary. Ex. I will not accept phone calls after 8PM. OR I will not respond to demeaning words or negative tones.
- Create a plan on how you will defend your boundary. Ex. If Diane speaks to me in a negative tone I will stop her immediately. I will tell her that her tone will no longer be tolerated and that, after calming down and thinking through what she would like to say to me, she is welcome to try a new approach. I will no longer entertain drama.
- Put it into action!